Probably the one person who had the most influence on my life was my mother. My dad certainly had a huge effect on teaching me how to do stuff like build and repair. But it was my mom who was there directing my daily life and challenging me to be the best I could be. Although I didn’t always enjoy her attempts to motivate me, throughout my life I’ve seen how her encouragement molded me into who and what I am today.
Mom passed away on July 11, 2004. As my nephew, Dan Daughtery, sang at her funeral, she lived her life for an audience of One. Today, I can still hear her encouraging words. As well, she also had several clever sayings she used frequently. I suppose she was the author of some. Other sayings she must have just picked up along the way. It’s funny how various circumstances remind me of her and the things she often said.
Yesterday I was stretching my arms as I yawned. When Mom did that, she’d say “I’d stretch a mile if I didn’t have to walk back.”
Whenever she saw something adorable, like a baby or a puppy, she’d refer to them as being “cuter than a bug's ear.” I also heard her sometimes add, “I’ve never seen a bug's ear…but if I did I’ll bet it would be awfully cute.”
If someone arrived late for a church meeting and said, “Better late than never”, she’d quip “Better never late.” She always said that with an unobjectionable tone. However, it was her way of objecting to their tardiness. If I was late for something, she always objected much more bluntly.
When she heard about a couple dating or getting married, she would say, “There’s a goose for every gander.” It seemed to be her way of saying that she didn’t know what the girl saw in the guy, but so be it. I often wondered if that’s what she was thinking when Deb and I began dating. I’m fairly certain she never understood what Deb saw in me.
She would quite often express that “A change is as good as a rest.” For example, sometimes when I got home from school, she’d have the living room furniture all rearranged. I’d say, “You changed the living room.” And she’d say, “A change is as good as rest.” Occasionally she’d add, “And I don’t see a rest coming anytime soon.”
Mom loved to whistle. She was very good at it and gently whistled tunes while she cooked and did her other household chores. You’d think she’d encourage everyone to whistle. But she advised our daughter, “Never learn to whistle, it causes wrinkles.”
Mom spent at least half her life in the kitchen. It seemed as though she was always cooking, baking, canning, or preparing meals. In the summer, it would get fiercely hot in there. My mother would often say, “It’s hotter than Dutch love.” If someone asked her how hot that was, she’d say, “I don’t know. I’m not Dutch!”
On a cold winter’s day, Dave Driscoll would say, in her presence, “It’s colder today than a mother-in-law’s kiss.” Mom, who was his mother-in-law, would quickly ask, “How would you know?”
Mom was proud of her cooking and baking. One of the things we all knew was that we better let her know how good a meal was and how much we appreciated it. When we’d sit down at the dinner table, we’d say ‘grace’ and begin to eat. If someone didn’t compliment her on the food before their first bite, she’d beat them to it. She’d take a tiny bite and say, “Good dinner Elva…if I do say so myself” (her name was Elva Jane). You always had to be ready with a response like, “I was just about to say the same thing, but I didn’t want to talk with my mouth full.”
Probably my favorite one, except when I was on the receiving end was when she saw someone with a stupid haircut, or wearing some bizarre, crumpled, or mismatched clothes. She would say, “He looks like somethin’ sent for and couldn’t come.” If you analyze that statement, you have to ask yourself, “What does that even mean?” But, as her son, I knew what it meant. I looked like a joke!
One thing she said to me several times that stuck with me was advice she gave when I was in high school and I was going out with my friends. As I’d leave the house, she'd say, “Have a good time and make sure you’re doing something you’ll be proud of doing if Jesus comes back tonight.”
When she’d say that I used to think to myself, did you have to the ruin the whole night before it even begins? However, I’ve never forgotten those words. And now I say, “I’m trying Mom, I’m trying.”
