Many years ago I decided to help out at home by doing some of the laundry. My wife, Deb, was gone and I was home with our three-year-old daughter, Meghan. It wasn't just about helping, to be honest, I was certain I would gain some points with Deb.
I knew what I needed to know about doing laundry. The first step is to separate clothes items by color. The first load I got ready was a load of whites. The load included two sets of white sweatsuits that belong to Meghan’s older siblings. Polly was 7 at the time and Luke was 8. They were bright white sweatpants and sweatshirts that had our school’s name and logo on them. They were new and I think this was probably the first time they were being washed.
Everything went well. I put in all the whites, which included my tighty whities. I put in the laundry detergent and fabric softener, closed the lid, and started the machine. I knew that by the time Deb got home, I would have that load and maybe another load washed and dried. I knew she would be thrilled. It was going to be a good day.
However, when the washing cycle ended and I opened the lid on the washing machine, I was horrified. Meghan, who was just being her helpful self, had thrown a red sweatshirt into the washing machine when I wasn’t looking! No longer was anything white inside the washing machine. Everything was dyed red! Bright red!
The potential “husband of the year” award was totally discolored. Red, to be exact. As in anger. As in blood. As in thinking about Deb’s coming wrath. I didn’t know what to do. I certainly didn’t want to face her with the news when she returned. I thought about curling up in a fetal position and crying when I heard the car pull in. My only defense was to blame a 3-year-old. I tried, but that didn’t go over very well.
Needless to say, I knew my points count with Deb was about to fall way under zero. Maybe I should explain the husband/wife point system for those who are oblivious of it.
Some men think if they do something special they can earn points that last maybe a full week. If it’s something very special, they might even think they can earn a month's worth of points. One thing husbands need to understand is that yes, they can earn points with their wives. However, what they generally don’t realize is that all points run out at midnight. Each new day begins at zero. Your wife is most likely not going to hang on to the points and apply them for future use. When you screw up and go into a deficit by doing something stupid, like dying the white clothes red, it will take several days, maybe months, or possibly even years to just work your way back up to zero. The other thing is those errors will be brought up from time to time in the future just to keep you in check.
So Deb came home. I was in trouble. Enough said. She immediately went to work on those sweatsuits. She did some kind of magical stuff that only women knew how to do back then (remember we didn’t have Youtube to find out how to do stuff). After a few treatments with whatever it was she used and a few more laundry cycles, the sweatsuits were bright white again.
But not my underwear.
Nope…Deb left that up to me to try and fix. To her delight, I had to settle with wearing pink underwear. It was embarrassing. Real men don’t wear pink underwear! Pink underwear have a way of removing every bit of Rambo a guy ever thought was in him.
When I first had to humble myself and wear them, I was worried about what other guys would think if they discovered I was wearing pink under my Levis. I had to talk about hunting and football and building stuff a lot more than usual just to sound manly and hide my secret.
Then, after a while, I came to the conclusion that it didn’t matter. Nobody could see my underwear! The only one laughing was Deb. And I was thankful she was laughing because she certainly wasn’t laughing the day it happened.
That whole incident reminded me that we can only look at the outward appearances of other people. What’s going on inside might be a completely different story.
When David was selected by God to be the next king of Israel, he wasn’t the first choice of those who knew him. His own father didn’t even think David was a viable candidate. The Prophet Samuel knew the next king would be a son of Jesse. However, he didn’t know which son God was choosing. So when he saw Jesse’s oldest son, who was tall, dark, and handsome, he thought for sure this was God’s choice for king.
But God reminded Samuel, that we people look at the outward appearances, but He looks at the heart. Then when Samuel saw David, God said he was the one.
We might be able to hide what’s going on inside from others, but we cannot hide from God. In fact, there’s no need to try hiding. The very best thing to do is allow God to have full access to our hearts. My prayer is King David’s prayer. It goes like this.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
“Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
God wants to meet us right where we are. If there’s some sin in our lives, He wants us to be open about it with Him. If we’re truly sorry about it, He will forgive us.
I encourage you to always be much more concerned about the inside appearance than the outward appearance. Keep the door of your heart wide open for God to do His inspection work. Listen to Him. And make the changes needed.
So what about the laundry? I still help with it. I do most of my own laundry. I never touch any of Deb’s laundry. I never wash any of the whites. And I never allow Meghan near the washing machine on laundry day!
