I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say “Don’t pray for patience”.  Many Christians seem to view doing so as a hex.   It’s as if somehow praying for patience is going to arouse God’s anger to do something horrific in our lives that will teach us a big patience lesson that we don’t want to have to learn.   Is God just waiting around daring someone to pray those four words “Please give me patience”?   According to the thinking of some praying that prayer will generate a slave-master response from God.  Pray that prayer and He’ll teach you the hard way!     

Let’s push the pause button!   That’s not the Creator I’ve read about in the Bible.   That’s not the God I know personally.   The God I know says He wants to give me the desires of my heart.   The God I know tells me to cast my cares upon Him because He cares for me.  The essence of the God I know is defined in Scripture with one word - Love.  

Perhaps praying for patience is something you’ve believed you should not take a chance on doing.   That’s what I also once believed.   

Many years ago I heard the testimony of a wonderful woman who had sadly become a paraplegic when she sustained a spinal cord injury in a car accident.  In giving her story, she said that prior to the accident she had been praying for patience.  She told us to never pray for patience because she had and this was the result.   At that time, that was her conviction.  I believed her and consequently never prayed for patience.     

Then something happened that changed my thinking about this completely.  I had been reading 1 Corinthians and had gotten to Chapter 13.   I can’t count how many times I had read this chapter in the Bible.   I’ve preached on it and I’ve used it in wedding ceremonies.   Nicknamed the Love Chapter, it might be one of the most recognizable passages in the Bible.  On this particular day, it was simply just a part of my regular Bible reading.  I thought I would just breeze through it and then get on with my day.   But that didn’t happen.

As I was reading, I felt overwhelmed to really think about what love really, truly looks like.  What does love really do?   How does love really act?   The words on the paper began to penetrate deep into my being.   Reading one sentence at a time, I began asking questions.  

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.    

Am I just a noisy gong? 

Verse 2 - If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 

Am I nothing?  

Verse 3 - If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Have I gained nothing?  

At this point, I decided I wouldn’t spend much more time asking those questions.  I’d  just speed up, read on, and be finished with my Bible reading for the day.  I would have done my duty.  God would be happy with me.   So I moved on to verse 4 where Paul begins his detailed definition of love.   It was then that God slapped me in the face with these three words. 

Love is patient…

I was stripped naked before God.  My sin was exposed to me as it had been to Him all my life.   When I read that first defining word of love I heard the Holy Spirit ask me: “Has anyone ever accused you of being patient?”   

God knew the answer.  He just wanted me to admit it to myself.   NO.   Nobody had ever described me as patient.   In fact my impatience has been pointed out by others over and over.  I had lived an impatient life.  

I’ve noticed since that day, when I talk with others about being impatient, the customary response is a chuckle.   It seems like impatience is so common that all we can do is laugh about it because we’ve concluded it’s not all that important and can’t be corrected.   

I’m generally not patient waiting at a stop light.  I’m not patient waiting in a checkout line.  I’m not patient waiting for my plane to board and takeoff.  I’m not patient waiting for my plane to arrive at its destination.   Worst of all, I’m not patient with the people I care about the most.   But when I’ve discussed this with others it often produces a smile and a laugh while they admit to having the same issue.  But we never talk about impatience as being a sin.  

For me this is very clear.   If I’m not patient, I’m not loving.   Love is patient.  So therefore the turn around is true also…patience is love.  

So what do I do?   I can’t just flick a switch and all of a sudden be patient.   I need the help of a Savior.  I need Jesus.  I need the Holy Spirit.  Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).  

Jesus says this in John 13:34  “I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”

In Ephesians 4:2 we find this command…“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

How can we love each other without patience?  How can we be patient with each other without love?   Is it dangerous to pray for patience?   My conclusion is…it’s  dangerous to NOT pray for patience.   Without it, how can you and I ever be what God wants us and commands us to be?  

I wish I could tell you that since the day I was convicted when reading “love is patient” my impatience totally disappeared.  It hasn’t.  But the difference is I’m praying for it to disappear.  When I’m impatient, which is still too often, I keep hearing the Holy Spirit whisper, “Slow down, be loving”.    

Maybe, like me, you’re one of the many who struggle with impatience.   Here’s my advice, pray for patience.   How will God respond?    God is Love.   Love is patient.   He will give you the desires of your heart.