A year ago, Deb and I began turning a building on our property into an Airbnb. Yes, one year ago. It has been a bigger project than I think I was expecting. It. has. been. a. lot. of. work.

Let me give you a little background. Several years ago I had the opportunity to get this building. It was a portable classroom the school district had determined had exceeded its life for their use. I paid a building moving company to deliver it to our property. After some time we decided to turn it into a guest house. Over the years, various friends and family stayed in it when they were visiting Florida. Then over time, it began to sit empty more and more.

Since it was sitting empty most of the time, we began to house some folks in it who needed assistance. For example, we discovered a young woman who was living in a car with a small child and was close to the end of her pregnancy with another baby. We allowed her to move in for several months until she was able to find other housing. After that, others lived in the guest house for extended periods.

Then, after sitting empty for a year, I offered the place to a family who had suffered a tremendous setback due to a medical dilemma. We had to put some money into the place to make it suitable for living once again. After doing that, the family decided to not move in and found other housing. It was then, that Deb and I decided to make it into an Airbnb.

We expected that in a few months we would have it ready to go. However…

not only did the project include getting the inside just the way we felt it needed to be, it also meant a lot of work on the outside and the surrounding property. That included a lot of clean-up, hauling junk away (I’m one of those “I might need that someday” people), painting, and landscaping. When we began looking at everything through the eyes of guests, it changed the view completely. We want our guests to have a delightful experience.

Since we primarily do all the work ourselves, it took more than a few months. As I said, it has been a year of working in our “spare” time. A friend of mine who recently sold his home asked me if I originally thought the project would be this much work. I probably did not. However, my friend took a year working on his house and property before he sold it (he’s one of those “I might need that someday” people). So I ask him, “How many times he was selling his house?” He said, “Just one time.” Since we need repeat sales at an Airbnb, the work on our cottage seems at least to be similarly important.

The crazy thing about this project is that most people will never realize all the effort that has gone into it. I hope they’ll notice the outside appearance and the inside style and décor. But they cannot see the underground work, the things done to the foundation, the additional wiring, and some new plumbing. They won’t miss the stuff that’s been hauled away from the property and they might not give much attention to the paint on the barns and sheds.

Isn’t that the way it is with a lot of things in life? Important things require a lot of time, effort, and dedication. But it’s not easy for others to see all the groundwork. An example of that is a good marriage. Some might look at the good marriages of others and never realize the effort required that goes into building them. I'm fairly certain some people think good marriages are easy and just somehow magically happen. The fact is, good marriages require lots of work. Everyday.

Deb and I have experienced 12 months of working on a cottage. We’re still working on it to make it the best. But we've also experienced more than 564 months of marriage. And we’re still working on our marriage to make it best. Like a good building, a good marriage has to be built on a solid foundation and then it involves regular maintenance.

Jesus said, “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27)

When a man and woman enter into marriage and both truly have Christ as their foundation, it’s going be off to a great beginning. It will be like a house built on solid rock. However, if one person has Christ and one doesn’t, it’s going to be like trying to mix water and oil, or darkness and light. Building the marriage will be difficult because the foundation is always a moving target and prone to washout.

When a couple is building on the solid foundation of Christ, they find out their plans are heading in the same direction. They are now able to make their daily, as well as their life, decisions based on God’s Word.

One of the foundational principles found in the Bible regarding marriage is this: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25). That means a husband following Christ’s example will put his wife's needs ahead of his own.

One of the best practical pieces of advice I can give to husbands is this: Listen to your wife. I know for certain that Deb is in my corner and she wants the very best for me. Therefore I seek her advice in the decisions I make. I believe any wife who knows her opinion is super important to her husband is a woman who knows she is loved. That brings us back to that foundational principle of husbands loving their wives.

Have I always listened to Deb's opinion? Unfortunately, not. Have I always heeded Deb's advice? No, not always. Have I gotten into some binds by not listening to her and not heeding her advice? Absolutely. Yeah, I've made mistakes. But I've tried to learn from them and be a better listener. Here’s the problem. A husband who runs roughshod and never listens to his wife is foolish and risks the collapse of his family. His foundation is not Christ. His foundation is self. Guys with this attitude often lose what’s most important to them…the respect of their whole family.

These principles I’m speaking of won't automatically make great marriages without putting in the hard work. But just flat-out ignoring them will certainly be of no benefit to anyone. Marriage is never effortless. But marriage is always worth the time, the hard work, and the dedication.

I hope when people look at our Airbnb, they think it’s great even though they can never appreciate all the effort that has gone into it. I hope when people look at Deb and me, they’ll see an example of a great marriage but also understand that it didn’t just magically happen.